Crepusculo

by Petracovich

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about

Crepusuclo (cray-poo-skoo-low)means twilight in Spanish. It’s the time between night and day when all turns to glow and birds fly around the bell towers. It is the beginning and the end. It is full of the small beauties of watching the world and the spirit of a little boy, and life as it keeps going through heart ache and great love.

This third album of Petracovich was recorded in Portland with John Askew, Jessica pregnant with her first child. Wooden floors and windows, an old piano full of songs of great songwriters past, banjos, bells, drums and harmonium, we worked to record these songs honestly, simply, with bare heart and open voice. A lot of hummus was eaten, and tortillas and kefir, that baby was a-growin.

Max Diez of Audio Outsend came up to play the drums, and Tad Wagner, producer of the past two Petracovich albums, added guitars from Santa Barbara, with his usual great ideas and energetic creativity. The process was wonderfully open as we melded tracks from Jessica’s home studio, and Secret Society (Portland) into the mix. Cory Gray played shiny horns, playful and dark at different times.

We decided to wait to release the album till after the birth. When beautiful Otto made his entrance into the world, it was clear that something was wrong. An accident with the cord in the womb caused injuries that allowed him only 8 days on the earth. Days of silent tears, sweet holding, and so much singing and tenderness and love, of comforting and guiding his passage.

Otto’s birth and passing changed everything about the album. Many songs seemed to be written for this event, even though most were written before his conception. “You are This Perfect” is a love song to a baby who was not yet in existence, yet it seemed to be a gift that floated down, almost in one piece, to a mama-to-be for his coming. We sang it to him over and over when we has here.

This album is his, his spirit is woven through it, and we are grateful for the recording of this part of his life. Grateful for music to get us through.

Based out of San Francisco, Petracovich is Jessica Peters with an old-world version of her family name. Her great-grandfather came to the US from Russia at the turn of the century, and one of the only things Peters knows of Abraham Petracovich is that he loved to listen to the New York Opera from the radio in the living room. Out of respect for the music, he would always wear his best suit.

Many years later, his 9 year old great-granddaughter would be at the piano, practicing Chopin and Debussy, which evolved into writing unrequited-love songs in highschool, and spending her 20’s in long, blissful hours on a living-room floor, creating sounds and beats, twisting knobs, tinkering and writing.

credits

released 07 July 2009

Produced: John Askew and Jessica Peters Malmberg
Mixed: John Askew
Mastered: Roger Seibel
Jessica Peters Malmberg: Vocals, keys, bells
John Askew: Bass
Max Diez: Drums
Tad Wagner: Guitars
Heather Houseman: Cello
Cory Gray: trumpet, euphonium

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Track Name: Heaven Help The Day
I have never met my father
They say he left us for another
Her name was Wanda, her name was prison, her name was free
And my name’s lonely, My name’s orphan My name’s please

If you see me walking I look at faces
I wonder if your blood’s in me
You’re just a stranger, a fellow walking down the street
And if you see me, smile gently keep going
Heaven Help the Day you ran from home

Cause I don’t know if I want you home
If I want you back who left me all alone
Yah I don’t know if I want you home
Heaven help the day you come


I’d make you worry, I’d make you want me,
I’d make you sit at home, wonderin’ where I’d gone
Uh huh
I’d make you love me, I’d make you love me then I’d leave you all alone

Heaven help the day you come back home

Copyright Jessica Peters Malmberg 2009
Track Name: Mockingbird
Once I had a mockingbird
He left town without a word
Left me singing all alone
Through the window, wait for him

He sang
I loved it when he sang
I loved it when he sang
And I
I sang his unsaid name
I sang and then he sang

Once I had a mockingbird
On my back and in the tree
IN the tree and in my ear
In my ear he sang to me he sang

He sang
I loved it when he sang
I loved it when he sang
And
He sang my unsaid name
He sang until I sang
My love my love my love my love

Did you come here just to go away?

Heard my song, he heard this bird
He came back without a word
Sang to me this mockingbird
From the tallest branch this bird
Sits where he can see the world
From the south without a word
Proud and gentle shameless bird

I loved it when he sang
Track Name: I'll Return as Waterbird
Baby I’ve been feeling so gone
Lyin in a field for so long
Under wings and buzzin things
If I listen good I’ll live long

Harvest ball you’ll be free of me
Of the darkest spark of evenin'
I’ll return as water bird
Greatness fill the river of my blood

I will take you darling
Deep into the evening
I will take you darling
Deep into the night

They’ll say whatever has happened
Some will tell and some won't listen
We saw silver sail glisten
O’er the sea, she’s gone to find her (love)

Where has she gone, where has she flown
Lightness lifting hollow bone
Feathers holding wind to a home
That was there long before she was born

I will take you darling
Deep into the evening
I will take you darling
Deep into the night
Come my little darling
Deep under my warm wing
I will take you darling deep into the night

The truth comes out
I’m light as air without you
The truth comes out
I often think about you

Baby I’ve been feeling so gone
Lying in a field for so long
Under wings and buzzing things
Listen’ to their every day song

After long I learned their ancient
Tellings and I took their secret
I fly over where we summered
And from my high heart I send my love
My love
My love
Oh my love
Track Name: Sleep It Off/Lie DOwn
Try to make me unsad
Just try makin me glad
It’s the day’s to declare
And it’s what I must wear

It goes on lightly
Like a summer colored dress
Blue sky clouds, pretty with my tears
Breeze does pick it up and make it sail
Graceful float ‘nough to make me lie down
And sleep it off
Lie down and watch the drift
Lie down and sleep with it
Lie down

Bring the golden dreams
They hover out side my reach
Blue shadow and cool stream
I lie in the shade of a tree

I wear it lightly
Like a summer colored dress
Blue sky clouds, heavy with my tears
Breeze can pick it up and make it sail
Graceful float
Enough to make my lie down
And cry it out
Lie down and sleep it off
Lie down and watch it float
Lie down
Track Name: Syracuse Next 6 Exits
Truck drivers bend in my mirror
Square noses curve like the road
By purple fields and farms
Green from the rain doesn't stop

It will be spring
six weeks ago
Water is rising level to the road
Geese flying over us
Going back home

Slow mothers carrying loads
Blue cabs, gray clouds hanging low
It's quiet out here on the farmlands
Quietest part of the run
Track Name: San Rafael
Coming over the hill to San Rafael on the 101
The sky is purple against red brake lights
Watching the stars appearing over the dark outline of the hills
Slowing down in front of flashing signs

Oh Cars
Cars are drifting, cars lining up
miles, miles and miles
Oh , I don’t belong here all caught up inside
Listening to the night

We sit still, impatient Night is coming,
We’re all going home
Hands on the wheel with our radios
To the west hills go to bed
They’re calling me where I belong
If the traffic stops I’ll float above, alone, above

Oh, cars
Cars are rivers cars lining up
miles miles and miles
Oh I I am lifted into the sky slipped into some old light

Up up over lights and droning motors
Over dew and honey grass and sleeping deer
Over rollers, hills with backs like dinosaurs
Floating over time a thousand years ago

Sailing Sailing quickly
I will soon be in the ocean air
Sleeping mountain where my heart is heard

Let me down on slanting sides
The breeze my breath, the grass my hair
I will fall asleep to waves and waves… in my ears
Track Name: Dark Woods
none
Track Name: You Are This Perfect
My baby boy
Driftin on the world I
Think of you as I
Fall into landmines

Baby boy
I think of your soft hair
I'm floating through morning
To touch on the fields

You are this perfect
The morning sun shines on the dew
Of the flowers

It's just a mornin
It's just a sunrise
If it is my last one
I would have you close to me.
Track Name: Miramar
They took the blue from the roof
And the beds from the rooms
Put an ad in the news for sale

From the highway I drive
You can see through them right
Through the rooms to the sea, you see the sea

Oh my, it’s a shame, farewell
Dismantling the old hotel
Oh the years of the sand
Behind my ears and in the bed
Sister song, sing it loud, farewell

Well they just couldn’t kill
See a place has a will
And the villa never was built
Flowers grew tall and filled
Wells of stairs, cracks in pools
It was beautiful old as the hills

Oh my, it’s a change, farewell
The vines have taken the hotel
Wrapping up and around
It’s going home it’s going down
To the heart that’s underground, farewell

Green is marching, green is taking over

Oh my, it’s a change, farewell
The vines have taken the hotel
Flowers orange, golden crowns
It’s going home it’s coming round
To the heart that’s underground, farewell
Track Name: Boy Who Was Caught
To the boy who was caught
Crashed the car and gave up
I saw your face
As you fell to your knees

I don't know what you did
I saw them look for something
I don't know what you did
I saw them in the grass
I don't know what you did
I cried for miles after
I don't know what you did
Just like your mama will

To the boy who gave up
In the Oregon Sun
To the red shining lights
And the dogs waiting by

I don't care what you did
I saw them pointing their guns
I don't care what you did
I saw your arms raised high
I don't care what you did
I cried for miles after
I don't care what you did
Just like your mama will

To the child who was trapped
Guns at your back
It's not your last
Chance

Why'd you do what you did
You've fallen hard upon the pavement
Why'd you do what you did
The sun is shining kind upon you
Why'd you do what you did
Let it go, take it off, take it off here,
Why'd you do what you did
Spread it out on the ground it feels good
To give up
Track Name: Last Day of February
instrumental
Track Name: We Must Have Been Birds
We must’ve been birds
We must’ve flown
And carried no weight
Our shoulders lifted by the air below

We must have had feathers
And woken and spoken together
And leaned in to each other
To feel the warmth that gathers under the down

And I
You’re mine
You’re mine
You’re mine

We must have made nests
We must have made sense
Things are going so well
We must have made sense
This love is floating so well
Love’s in your arms
arms

You must have sung
I heard your song
And crafted and gathered and praised the tree
Where we would raise our young

And we
We died,
lived by
each other